Am I who I am?

I have spent the whole of Monday playing mindless, relaxing games and fb-ing my applications like mad. Omfg, I hope I do not turn into those addicted gamers whose eyes are stuck onto the computer screens and drools inconsistently while reaching out to the nearest possible food/drinks supply. I really must start on my BZE homework, God knows it's long overdue. Sigh, times like these really make me feel like running out of my life and into a world which is basically a blank white box. i shall sit there and entertain myself with invisible beings and chatter happily away to imaginary passer-bys. Rachel, you are losing your mind. Where is your brain girl?
I cannot imagine what my life is without you.
Actually, I can.
Firstly, my life would probably go on, but I guess maybe in some wierd universe thingy, I will feel as though I have something missing in my life but I just do not know what it is. I wonder...
All things happen for a reason, (Weddings, Birthdays, Anniversaries, Funerals, ect..) but what if we are always in denial whenever something bad happens?
Who do we blame?
Others?
Ourselves?
God?

Frankly, I do not know what is going through my mind right now.

xx
Rachel Roxxane