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Location: Singapore

Rachel Roxxane Caroline A girl/Woman. A student. A dancer. A singer. An artist.

Friday, July 30, 2010


What hurts the most, is when a friend decides to break up with you.

6 years of my friendship with Fafa just gone, in less than an hour.
Perhaps I made it this way?
I never wanted her go away. I always thought our friendship would lasts.
I am sorry, I am so so sorry, that things turned out this way.
Perhaps it's because i have not been treating you as close as before.
After being in different classes now, and worst, different timings.

Ever since we graduated from Secondary School, we have not been close to each other.
You had your plans, I had mine.
We both have our own set of friends, and I guess it just got too busy.
You lead a very sociable life, whereas me, on the other hand, the opposite.
The friends I have, you introduce to me, but in the end, I always feel so awkward cause I am the only Chinese and I don't seem to fit in.

I know I am not rich, or funny or cool like other people you met, but I guess you found something in me that you liked, that's why we were friends for so long. I know I can be really lame and talk alot of bullshit and become emo and keep talking about the past like there is no tomorrow, boring your ears out, but you still listened.

You don't know how guilty I feel whenever I could not support you.
Your dance, performances. I wanted to be there for you, and I had always let you down.
I feel even more guilty when I want to meet you but things just get in the way.
I know you were so upset and I did not know what to do to make up for it.

Just reading that post that you wrote on FB just breaks my heart. I guess I did not realize I abandoned you. I always thought that you would be okay with how we are leading our current lives, just the occasionaly, Hi, Bye and all.

Sometimes, I don't know if I am a good friend for you. I try to help you, with your relationship problems and such, but now these problems have been fading, till you never confide in me until I see some status that you put.
Whenever I asked why, you just say it's nothing, and it hurt me.
I realize now those were the signs.
How could I have been so blind?
I also did not feel as though I meant to you so much. I am so sorry, I wish you told me earlier that you felt like this.

You probably had been holding back so much of this feelings,for too long until you cannot take it anymore, and now you are gone. I made it this way.

I wish I could change back time, to sort things out.



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