When I look at you, my mind goes on a trip.

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Location: Singapore

Rachel Roxxane Caroline A girl/Woman. A student. A dancer. A singer. An artist.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I deserve a reward!

Going for a swim with Sha around 2.
I just installed cool themes last night, aka, morning.
Finally, finally, achieving something small in a field where I have no knowledge of is such a big deal for me!
I completely don't understand the computer language and installing the application makes me so happy!

Sigh, even when I am happy, I am also sad.
Feels like I am a completely different person this week.
Fighting with you so much and all.
I don't know what is happening.
You said you try to understand me and think for me,
but things turn out wrong in the end.
You say that you also feel that we've been fighting alot lately.

I don't know what is happening to me.
I don't want to be horrid and cold towards you.
I want to be the warm loving me.
I am so sorry.
I get so petty over the smallest things.
I am so sensitive nowadays.


Had dance today.
First time teaching dance to students.
Took a cab over to school and the uncle so cute, forgot to on the meter.
So I paid 3 bucks.
Ice Breaker games were quite a drag, didn't organise it well.
Out of like 30 people, 10 came.
Well, beggars cn't be choosers.

Overall, it wasn't that bad. :)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Food Couples.

We're like Apples & Cinnamon.
Spaghetti & Meatballs.
Peas & Carrots.
Rootbeer & Ice Cream.
Strawberries and Cream.
Cookies & Cream.
Milk & Tea.
Chocolates & Nuts.
Yogurt & Berries.
Eggs & Bacon.
Butter & Toast.
Syrup & Ice.
Milk & Cereal.
Karl & I.
Rachel & I.

Just missing you and hoping that I would see you soon.

I have discovered blogshops and I can't help but not stop.
I need to find a job pretty soon to quench my fashion appetite.
I miss my B so much, sigh, hope he comes out on a friday.
Going to help Sha unpack at her place tomorrow, which is later today.
Went to my favorite place, Ntuc, I know, lame for others, but I love it so much.
Love food shopping, and for other miscellaneous stuff.
B drop a huge bomb on me.
He said, I quote: " You can't wear vintage."
Shot, shot to the heart.
I love love vintage.
And i can't wear it!
Maybe it's cause of the way I look?
He says I am too MODERN?
Like, wtfh.
Sad life.


Friday, April 23, 2010

This is why we call it the 'Why' Chromosome.

Harry passed away, last night, when I was cooking.
At first, I didn't notice, but the absence of his running wheel seemed onminous.
It is true, I did not spent alot of time with Harry, but I missed his presence.
He was always a subject of interest whenever I got to the kitchen.
I still can remember the sound of his ball rolling around the floor, and his annoying wheel which goes at full force whenever he eats.
I guess all life has to come to an end.
So when is mine?

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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Just only a couple more days till I can get to see you again.
Went for therapy shoe shopping and it was awesome.
Drag Sha all around to find boots and I totally am in love with them completely.
I miss blah blah-ing to him so much and I just wanna see you quickly k B?
Oh My Gosh, school is like totally draining me.
Although I have alot of fun playing around with the Adobe Illustrator, warping pictures.
I guess there really isn't much to say, just that I can't wait till I graduate :)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

It's like just saying you should just go go go, when there is no where to go to.
Today is almost the last day to sum up the one week I spent with my Muu Muu.
Isn't is so perfectly sad, he's going in tomorrow, Monday, Pasi Laba [?], 0800-08.30.
At least he got what he wanted, SCS&WSAS.

I am really so terribly glad for him, but I understand how difficult now it'll be.
Well, at least it's only for 6 long grueling months.
Guess I can survive that.
Not like I would die.. Would I?
Still have school to attend.

Sigh, finally this hectic week is over, and I can finally relax.
Now it's just back to studying.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

It is just so me, to say, I love you.

Yesterday was the first day of school.
I also got retrenched!
So young. :(
Went for breakfast with Muu Muu.
Muu Muu spend the day squeezing my pimps in the morning
and the lessons was such a drag.
Guess the only upside was when I almost fell into the drain on the way to the canteen.
Completely dry.

Today, is the second day,
dry lessons.
We just had one of our textbooks, Principles Of Marketing.
Like I know what that is.

Guess what, my glasses broke.
Stupid, stupid. Break in my fingers.
Then I was walking half ass blind in the mrt trying to look for Muu Muu.
Went to novena to get temporary contacts and seeing if I should change my frame.

Money flying away.

Monday, April 12, 2010

School is starting tomorrow, Monday.
Which is apparently today.
Bloody teacher doesn't even bother to message me,
after talking about how bullshit goodness about me.

Had the P.O.P chalet, like finally.
Slowly, cutting things down, one by one.
I can finally get to be with Muu Muu, 
even though I have dance.
I also have work.

Sigh, I don't know how I could ever live, 
without my B and Sha.
They are thew ones who can talk sense into me and listen.

I know I don't deserve good people like them.

How I wish I could please everyone.


Friday, April 9, 2010

I hate it.
You know, the feeling, when you let people down.
I feel so useless.
I have to say sorry to so many people, and even then, sorry just doesn't seem enough.

Sorry, to...
Sarah, for not being a good host.
Shaheerah, for lying to you.
Fafa, for letting you down.
Karl, cause I couldn't do much for you.
My work, cause I have not ben going so often.
Dance members and teachers, being the president, I am suppose to set a good example but look what happen.

Even now, my apologies doesn't mean anything.
Once you lost people's trust, it is so hard to get them back.
If I keep letting people down, then what is the point of living?
Doesn't it seem better to not be here so I don't need to let others down anymore?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Oh my goodness.
It is finally 1 year.

I want to firstly, 
thank you,
for being with me for this long.
Staying with me, loving me.

Even though I can't be with you now, to celebrate, 
I just want you to know how happy I am with you.

There is just so much I want to tell you.
B, I love you.


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Do I know what day it is today?
It's the EVE of our ANNIVERSARY

Oh My Goodness!
It's sad though, that we are not together.
But it also means that tomorrow would be the Eve of his P.O.P.

I can't wait to see him and be with him.
Though I think I would be slightly nervous to be with his mum.
Still, I have not found anything to wear yet.
I feel so stress.

B, I really am so excited for this coming week.
To finally be with you for a year.
To finally go to your P.O.P.
To just be with you.
Makes me happy.


Monday, April 5, 2010

Oh My Gawd.
7 more days for school to start.
6 more days left for holidays.
3 more days till he P.O.P.
2 more days for our 1 year anniversary.
Counting down,counting down.
I just read someone's blog about her exam results and her poly admission.
Soon it is going to be my turn.
Am I afraid?
Well, not yet though.

I start telling myself I have to do well this time.
I have to go to school, obviously.
Just one year more!
Then I am out of this shit hole.

Good riddance to IEH.
Although I do not like some there, 
I would like to remember only a specific few.
Shaheerah, firstly, for being a one true friend.
Danial, Kuntrak, Yan, Amyrool.
The Chinese gang, even though I don't talk to you, you guys are great.
Elaine, you funny girl.
Natasha, bimbo, still. {fun to talk about.}
Malay guys, {you guys are crazy}

Other than that, yup, Sha, you know who I won't wanna see.

This is life.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Oh my goodness, it's just three more days.
That's is so fast.
I would be officially together with Muu Muu for 1 year.

In 4 more days he would be passing out.
Oh my goodness.
Crazy :)

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Just so you know, I miss you.
Can't believe it is just 4 more days to my very first 1 year anniversary.
time is passing really fast now, and I guess it's hard to fathom how I would ever be without your love.
Being with someone for so long, it just seems so unreal.
I never knew someone like you, would could stay with me for this long, taking in my nonsense and everything.
I am really thankful to have you.
You make me love you more and more everyday.


Thursday, April 1, 2010

I think my baby is angry at me.
He said, 
"You are such a horrid actress"
I am sorry dear.
GUess I can't get this out of my system.
He said he cried for over an hour.
Now the guilt sets in.
Through this so called 'fight'
I found out how much more he meant to me.
And I love him for it.

You're just a fool