When I look at you, my mind goes on a trip.

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Location: Singapore

Rachel Roxxane Caroline A girl/Woman. A student. A dancer. A singer. An artist.

Thursday, July 30, 2009


Perhaps I have always stereotype people for who they are by what I see, but I never really understood them. We pretend to wear a plastic amour so that others could not see the hurt that scars our body, our soul, our face. Funny how when they let that amour down, you can see who they really are, what they were actually hiding from you, from others. I guess it is part of human nature, to put up barriers so that we can protect ourselves from sarcasm, from humiliation, basically from hurt. Why do we live in this world where we search for truth, for facts but still hide what is real? Perhaps the reason is simply just because we are what we are, humans. It is already in our nature when we were created to live in this world. Perhaps it might not have happen in the earlier ages, during our ancestors time, but has slowly happened and is still happening now. I cannot ask people to change the way they are. I can change the way I am, but what if they react negatively towards my new attitude? What if they cannot accept it? Should I revert back to my old attitude? Or should i just just take charge of my world and say "Here I am, This is who I really am, not plastic but all genuine". We need to understand each other. We are still humans, despite skin color, races. But, I guess, this dream, still might be far-fetched, because no matter how much we try to understand each other, how much patience we put in, how much we want to believe that people will change, we know that there are just some people who refuses to become someone they are not.
They do not know, they could,
if they wanted to.
If they can just put in a little bit of faith.
What do you have to lose anyway?
I would like to say more, but time is not on my side.
I wonder how,
I wonder why.

Rachel Roxxane

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Things are just not meant to be.

Me and Nina made it into the Semi-Finals but sadly I was not chosen. Congrats to her though, she really has a powerful voice and can command the crowd. Perhaps it was the wrong song choices. It really was so much fun performing for the crowd. I really overcame my nerves and I am thankful for my teacher funding my registration fee and for the wonderful experience.
Go Nina!

Some pictures from my school project.

She is so bold.

Today my module was Business Environment. The teacher seriously needs fashion therapy! It's simply a crime to walk around in what she is wearing. I do not know why she even chose that outfit, yesterday was some weird Mexican dress and now this? What next? An E.T suit?

These next few posts would just be pictures and tidbits on the days which I missed out info-ing you guys.


Rachel Roxxane

Monday, July 27, 2009

The best medicine for a broken heart is tears and sleep.

When the truth hits you smack in the face and reality just completely overwhelms you, all you could do is just cry and sleep the pain away. I did not made it into the finals (sadly), my good friend is going away to God-knows-where and it is difficult being there for someone, getting the bad attitudes and SHIAT, just taking it all in and fixing a smile on my face. School as usual, is completely USELESS~ My dear girl friend had to go back early. Bimbotic talks and all completed with S&W, apparently I am still breathing. About the Finals, let's break it down, I did not made it because it really was last minute and there was no one time to practice with the keyboardist when your performance is your project so there is a time strain there. I also changed the song twice (risky), my first, "Sway", I thought I was somewhat pitchy? My second, "Reflections", I was afraid I could not hit the high notes. I went with the safe choice of "Somewhere over the rainbow", the starting was on the wrong key, but luckly saved myself afters. Still, it hurts to know when the thing that you hold close to your heart is taken away from you roughly and leaves a hole with emptiness dripping out. I cried myself to sleep last night wishing that the pain would go away.
Tears, filled with so much sadness and dismay, disslove into my pillow.
I have no mood now to talk anymore.
This cannot be the end,
yet it feels as though it has never been the start.

Rachel Roxxane

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Tell me you love me.

Okay. I have just came back from a delicious dinner of Nasi Ayam Penyet at Novena. My whole body and me is totally shagged from the event which I just had. I really loved doing these event things but what Angie Lee has taught me in our EPL classes (half the time sleeping) all rushed back into my memory. I do not want to elaborate on it but yes, you see, the SITE VENUE is really important. Anways, I joined the SINGAPORE'S GOT YOUTH TALENT and I made it through the audition today. Tommorrow is the SEMI-FINALS and I have not prepared a song and here I am blogging my ass away. :) Amyrool!! you suppose to send me the pictures!!!! AND DELETE ALL THE FUGLY PICS plsaaaa!!!!
I wish I could update you on so much more, maybe if you're nice i'll put in my clip on my audition. Not Fantastic, counting that I was uberish bored and I guess tired. :) So much pictures to put in, but really tired now. hahahaahaa!!! Maybe... Maybe...

I love ya'll!!

Rachel Roxxane

Friday, July 24, 2009

Touch my body

I am so tired of school, classes and politics. Apparently my class have been getting slightly out of hand. There are so many BROTHERS and SISTERS and MUTHERS. funny why there are no HUBBies.. Hehehe, I rather turn lesbo!! Elaine my dearest can join me.. Yes elaine?? :))
I so love this dress at F21. Nice right??? But it makes my BOOBIES look bigger cause of the padding. Should recommend to people who have small ones... Or to poeple who think thier breasts so F*ing hot. Merde!

Rachel Roxxane

Fly away to Never Never Land.

I really miss my best friend so much!!! We've been together for half a decade and we've been through so many different situations with a varying degree of difficulties. Fafa, you are the bestest girl and I miss all the laughter and times we shared. All the days we spent slacking at TPY after school, the afternoon ice-kachang which result me in getting spastically cold. The fun and tiring times we had in school, dancing into the wee hours, in TPY stadium, we cheered till we lose our voice and your temper. Girl, how i wish we could spend those special moments again. I guess it is time that we have to be apart, you have your own friends and I have mine. But the bonds that we have shared could not compared to these other friendships that we have found.
It's been very long since I could spent a decent time with you. We always said that we would make time for each other so that we can spend some quiet time, lepak, chat, and laugh. I guess we were always too busy.
"Boyfriends come and go,
but friendships lasts forever."
When it comes to a time when we are finally apart,
I want you leave with a happy memory of us.
Of me.
I'll always be here for you~
You'll still be the best girl friend anyone could have~
you know I love you so much!~

Rachel Roxxane

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

OMFG! Geezz, doing role playing is really fun but so many lines to remember. Pity the life of an actress. Sorry I have not been able to post any updates but school life has been somewhat tough and there really are people who have been so irritating. Sometimes I wish they just shut thier traps and mind thier own business. Pay still have not come, and I really want to get something special for someone. Yes, check juliet, I am seriously being very random.

>I love roses.
>>I love BLOOD RED roses.
>>>I love you.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Still an obsession.

Have I ever been right? I know I have been wrong here and there, basically making alot of mistakes, here and there. Currently, I have been continueously making amends to my New Year's Resolution.

  1. Get a 3.5% GPA
  2. Fill my bank with $$!
  3. Get lingerie <>
  4. Get a Job!

Pity me, Pity poor rachel...


Rachel Roxxane

Creepy little girl

"Creepy little girl in a creepy little place, creepy little place in a creepy little world. Creepy little girl with a creepy little face, saying funny things that you would never heard". This song has been repeatedly plaing in my head so much that I fear I might be having nightmares because of it. Sorry for not updating it for awhile, I had been pretty busy with my school's hectic schedule and my deadlines are really killing me. Oh the pity of projects. Here's one for you! This hot image, from my favourite website, " www.deviantart.com" is totally awesome :))
I am loving the images posted and I just wish I could have those beautiful images! :))
Two days ago, on 16 of July 2009, my bze results were out! 29 /50!!!! And I just studies ont he day itself!!! It is so depressing that I cannot believe it! And I canot believe that there are some people who actually got a distinction! Like seriously! I am not jealous but it seemed so horrifically true! Oh well, what to do, just got to work harder.
Yesterday, 15 of July, went out to makan Japanese food again! :)
Baked Alaska! I want you!!
Today, I am having a briefing for my EPL project at J8, then runnin off to church for a confirmation mass! Later there's a BBQ at ECP! Woah girl! Gotta chill and slow down!
I Love You guys! :))
Rachel Roxxane

Monday, July 13, 2009


Oh My Gawd! I so fucking hate this! Dammit lah, I am so pissed I am banging the keys hard and my temper is mounting like there is no tomorrow. I so need to get the software but I am so afraid of asking my mother. She spend so much already. And the stewpid paycheck has not even come yet! WTFH! Gosh, so much money spent unnecessarily and.. and.. To make matters worst, when i took the lift from my house today, i was so busy with my cell that when i pressed my floor button, there on my finger was a SLIMEY GLOB OF MUCUS! WHO THE FACK DOES THAT????? LIKE HELLO! IT'S SO DISGUSTING AND THESE PEOPLE HAVE NO BLOODY SENSE OF HYGIENE! NO WODER WE HAVE THE H1N1 CASE HERE CAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE THESE!!! Dammit, really, dammit.

xx(without much love)
Rachel Roxxane


Oh my goodness! What am i doing here??? I just completed my LPD homework (should have done like long time ago) and I am contemplating to buy the new Microsoft Office package software. Why in hell must they change every single time? I seriously do not get that shit. I feel so old and so tired and I know I sound whiny but dammit, I WANT A FREAKING LAPTOP! I wish 2k would just fall into my lap! :( Sadly, that was not meant to be. Teacher's being really demanding and shit about the powerpoint presentation. So freaking particular and whatever! She actually tells me that I can do what, like custom animations and all the nonsense! Like hello! I knew these like how LONG AGO! Facking desktop can't run the stupid software that's why I am needed to buy the whole shiinammmging software!!!

>>I wish money grows on trees.
>>>I wish the tree was mine.
>>>>I wish there was't any work to do.

Who ever said it was easy?

Rachel Roxxane

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Troubled waters

Sorry about not continuously SPAMMING this wall as I should have. Basically, to sum up the missing days, i am seriously tired out due to the pile of shit loaded on me and I really just want to sleep and relax on my weekends. School life has been really hectic and I can't seem to keep up with the homework. Seems like the New Year's Resolution for this year has been unachievable, yet again. I have so much homework to be done and here I am, blogging like some crappy noob user. This sucks, why can't this website be much easier? I even fine it hard to download some retarded HTML shiat. I am seriously age-ing towards oldness. Guess what, when I was eating chicken rice near my area, this bubblegum pink latex-clad woman strode with her boyfriend into the coffee shop like no one's business and she strutted her figure hugging bulbous body around the coffee shop, somewhat unaware of the commotion she was causing. Sure she was confident wearing a pastel pink tube dress which looks like a spandex outfit with skirts on her. Sure her boyfriend does not mind showing off her, her beauty(if any) and her gorgeous full figure. Hey! I am not stereotyping Phat People. i am just justifying that Phat people should not go walking around in what looks like a thin towel which might, (with any luck) tear when seated. it just seemed so wrong and really, disgusting. You can have all the confidence in the world with what you want to wear but please, please choose something appropriate. Okay, i seriously need to do my homework. My guilty conscience is moaning at me and I am literally spasming. I love you all!!!

Rachel Roxxane

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Just my luck.

Who knew that there's just one problem in this class of mine? I just wish that sometimes, one can see the obvious truth which lies just at the end of one's nose. Can people actually be that stupid? I mean, seriously? Perhaps it's just me. Whatever. Don't know what I am typing really. Just trying to make my page not so PATHETIC looking. What? Don't patronise me, I can't help it if I can't remember my passwords, username, ect. . Bze test sucked balls. I last minute study. Can't remember the facts and shit. I think that I am hating coming into the world of politics and shit-ish stuff about bitchin' and whole lot of crap nuts. Aww, another test tommorow!! I seriously need to get my brain into studying. Or else my brain will be completely SPASMTIZED.


Rachel Roxxane

I am going to keep this one.

After years of procrastination, I, will finally make a blog and keep this. Damn you all, my other ''existing ones". Yes! Finally, making this one blog, i so solemnly swear to love it and cherish it till my fingers drop off. Okay, I am so off to study. Bze test tommorrow and my ass is screwed shitless if I don't pass.

Rachel Roxxane