When I look at you, my mind goes on a trip.

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Location: Singapore

Rachel Roxxane Caroline A girl/Woman. A student. A dancer. A singer. An artist.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Something which I forgotten to post.

Sha looking hot, love it.

One of my best pictures.

Concludes our awesome day out :D


What is wrong with me?
I am driving him away.
Just as things are starting to get better, I just picked another argument with him.
Rachel, what is wrong with your brain.
I hate myself.
I hate myeslf so much.
The only man that I love is being drivien away by me.
No one understands.
They say they do but deep down, they would never.

I want to sleep, but I can't.
I want to cry, but tears can't be formed.
I really feel so sad.

Am I becoming crazy?


Sunday, March 28, 2010

I can't believe how fast it is.
Sarah's already gone, Muu Muu is back in.
I have so much to plan for this week, since the P.O.P is coming up.
After this week it's only like a few more days.
Now I am stressing to either go for dance or a BBQ with Fafa.
Both is so important to me.
I cannot don't  go for dance, being the Pres is hard.
I can't not go for the bbq, I don't want to let Fafa down, after asking me so many times.

I feel so stress.
Decisions, and all.
And I need to catch up with people I have not met for so long.

I don't know what to do.
I feel like I am letting people down no matter what kind of decisions I make.

God help me.
Help me to decide.

Friday, March 26, 2010

This must have been the most craziest week I ever had.
Let's start with 

Met Sarah, did our hair, we rebonded our fringe and highlighted it.
We started at 1 and ended around 5.
Went back to the hotel and ordered Macs and slack till I had to go to work.

 Sarah's birthday.
We went to Sentosa, and I brought her around to see the hotels.
We then went to the Resort World, 
but didn't go into the U.S.S cause it was so late.
We went to Chili's' instead 
We ordered a Singapore Sling for her and a Blue Pacific Margarita for me.
She got completely drunk and I had to cab her back to the hotel.
We went to Chinatown later and got her friend's dress.

We met about 12 and went to U.S.S.
Had such a blast there.
Pictures speak louder than words.
Went to Clark Quay's CLinic.
Singapore Slings and Mood Tubes.
Got bit too high and cab back home.

 Meet Sarah at Orchard station whereby my reception failed me for ten minutes.
We walked from ION to 313.
Sat in the ICING ROOM and had tea while she told me her life stories.
We went off to Cinileisure Orchard and chill there till I had to go off to work.

No updates for now.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

16 km

Just a quick post, in case I forget.
You are having your 16km route march today, with all your barang barang.
I on the other had is going to Sentosa.
And now it's raining.
You told me yesterday that you would be having a Military Police interview on Thursday.
I am excited for you, 
but I am so sorry for showing a bit of an attitude cause I was so tired.
Now, it's just a matter of waiting.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Decisions, decisions.

I think that yesterday was one of the most difficult days I ever had to experience.
I went out with the girls, Fafa, Sha, Feeqah, Ika and Taz.
We suppose to go to IMM at like 12, but ended up delaying, delaying.
  1. Ika's Grandmother had to go for check up.
  2. Fafa had a huge fight with this stupid 'china' server about 30 damn cents.
  3. Ika found out that we travelled to IMM for nothing, cause the doughnut shop that sold the special doughnuts for the birthday already closed down.
  4. When we went to ION, I had stomach cramps from eating the 'HATE' food from that  china woman.
  5. It was still quite a wet day but we decided to go to Far East to eat, whereby Feeqah would join us later but apparently she almost could not make her way there.
  6. When we went to East Coast [Quite last minute] Taz and Feeqah couldn't come and Sha almost kind of got scolded.
  7. Throughout 5-7, I've been 'fighting' with Muu Muu.
I know he didn't get the guard duty, but then hearing that one of my close comrade's boyfriend getting it [ reserve] still was quite bad. I mean, come on, the guys are already PASSING OUT, why is there a need for them to still be reserves for guard duty?

It is so completely unfair to everyone, and now it is affecting future plans.

I couldn't really sleep, coming back around 1130, and resting till 4.
Now I need to rush off to go Pasir Ris again.

Decisions, decisions, making the toughest choices and the most logical is so hard to do.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Going out now, to IMM, then to Henderson Wave :]

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Only By The Grace Of God

Sometimes, we forget Him.
Sometimes, when don't appreciate Him.
Sometimes, we hate Him.
But then, 
He is the One we turn to when

We are alone
We have no one else
We are hated
We are abandon
We are turned away

Yet, he still 
Stood by us
Came to comfort us
Hold us
Love us

He is God
And only by his Grace
Can we go to Heaven

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Today you finish your SIT test.
 I am hoping to hear from you soon.
I wish I could bake.
I always love the feeling of baking and making something not just pretty,
Like Ellice say, she bakes out of love.
Seeing each and every picture of her love's patisserie,
I can sense the love and passion she puts in her baking.
I always felt I murder baking rather than bake.
Okay, it doesn't exactly make sense, but you get the idea.
I wish I could bake something for you.
So you would know the love I put in it.
I feel, that everyone has different ways of showing their love.
For some, it's baking, like Ellice.
For traditional Chinese mothers, it's cooking.
For mothers, it's hugs and kisses.
For others, it's making special things or buying them.
To me,
baking is one of the most intriguing ways to show love.
The careful measurements, 
the love and care in whisking, gently, kneading the dough,
the accurate timing.
The wonderful imagination taking over to design it.
Ah, baking,
it's an accomplish art form itself.

Day One over, but I am updating this like so late.
My boss makes me damn nervous.
I simply can't work with him staring at me.
Then that Idiot tells me to be more joyful?

Like, What the hell.
How can I be more, JOYFUL?

I can't wait to hear from you.
I am so damn tired now.
B.. B...

Sunday, March 14, 2010


In 980, going to Novena.

Spending my time with my Baby.

Sweet Sweet Love.

Caming in the theater before the show starts.

3D is so in.

Alice In Wonderland.

At Marina Barrage.

You took this, I don't know why.

You took this too.
It was kind of cloudy.
Cause we thought it would be raining.

Ew, I look fat.

Haha, spastic face.

Love you :]

Look at that puddle, it looks like a HEART.

Random, cause I have nothing better to do.

[Sha, no funny ideas kay]

Flash too bright.

Relaxing on my Muu Muu.

Stoning, stoning, caming.

In my baby's arms I lie.

[ First try]

You say you like this picture.

I love you.

Wah, Subway and Go Go Sausages. <3


Idiot, you make me look like ghost.

Dancing with the Spritz.

You made my day.
It felt like a fairytale.

Thank you so much dear.

Happy Happy

Back in again.

I want to upload the pictures we took, probably tomorrow, when I am not so tired.
At least I can talk to you before you start your SIT test.

We waited for my Salmon Congee and you were fooling around.

You were so tired that you fell asleep.
Who could blame you.
It was 2 in the morning.

Just taking pictures with you.

[Spastic Face]

I love spending 12.3.10 with you.


Thursday, March 11, 2010


I just got u about an hour ago, when I saw my cell text messages it was like 5 of them.
Two from you, two from my mother and a missed call.

You said you have bad news, so I guess I am leaving this space blank so I could fill it up later.

Well, you told me that the confinment is confirmed, and i only just recieve your text to see me at 7.30pm.

:D :D :D

Can't you see how happy I am.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Last of the Papers

Finally, again, it's the damn last day.
My last paper.
I feel so happy.
I can't wait to get it over and done with.
I'm so happy.
So very happy.
I'm so happy.
Happy and Gay.
I hope Baby books out tomorrow. :]

[Alice In Wonderland]

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I just recently read one of my closest friend's blog post.
Sad to say, I am quite worried.
I know she is completely paranoid and mad about her being fat.

I hate the way she always compares herself to Anorexics.
I am afraid that if she continues like these, she would turn out to be like them,
then it would be too late.
Sigh, I feel so helpless in these situations.
I really think that she is so stubborn to think that she is overweight, fat and whatever.
It pissed me off.

The way I see it, I can take it either ways, I can try and try to support and encourage her.

Or I can start to become self concious of what I eat and start being paranoid around her.

Reverse Psychology.

It's difficult.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Forgive me for not updating.

Anyway, just a short update of what had happen these past few days.
Fetch Muu Muu on Thursday evening at around 11pm.
Went to an all out party bash from Friday night till Saturday.
Stayed over at Muu Muu's place from Saturday till Sunday.
Just finished my damn WFB paper today.

I am tired out.
Think I am working in the evening later.

I had such a fun weekend.
Loved the party. Love my Baby.

I don't think I've uploaded this on Facebook or on my blog.



These were just a few photos before Chinese New Year, before Sam went to Australia.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


5th Day

I can't believe that this day has already arrived.
Like, finally, finally.
I've been waiting so long for this day to come.
And it has arrived.

Am I glad?
Am I excited?

You make my world go crazy.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


4th Day

Just a quick entry before I run of to lunch with Sha.
I rushed down to J8 to buy an awesome aluminum balloon for her.
Swensens was awesome.
I ordered Mac and Cheese and she ordered some salmon pasta.
She also had a free fire house ice cream.

School was boring though, it was so hot that I almost fell asleep.
We changed to an air con class room later anyways.

Angie had some mini class celebration for the Jan to March babes.
Yes, she actually said BABES.

Went to work later, got a potential client.

Nothing much for this entry, just can't wait to hear for you. :]

Just one more day till I hear from you baby. :]

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


3rd Day

I wonder how you are doing right now, I hope that you are fine.
I am sick, apparently, and my Father, wants me to reedeem something online and I get so cranky.
It's times like this when I need you.
You always talked to me so gently and calm me down.
I wish I could talk to you right now.

Monday, March 1, 2010


2nd Day

Yesterday was the 1st, but I was too tired to blog about it.
Anyway, it passed by quite fast,
because I was so busy running aorund swith Stacey and Stephanie.
I still thought of you, but not too much, not too little.

So, on my 2nd day, I am going out with Sha, going to walk walk around, see some stuff then I am going for work, feels quite a drag, but, you know, work for the cash. Damn, I feel like shit when I work, I do want to do well, but I don't know.

I am probably going to spam your inbox, telling you how UTTERLY bored I am. Well, at least the days would pass by faster, then it'll be TUESDAY.

Awesome. I am going to think like that.

Oh My Goodness. I shall freak when it's WEDNESDAY.