When I look at you, my mind goes on a trip.

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Location: Singapore

Rachel Roxxane Caroline A girl/Woman. A student. A dancer. A singer. An artist.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Fafa's birthday was on thursday, went to have a mini celebration. I did not do much, just went to get a cake with her at McCafe, well, here's how it went.

R: Hey, I have this coupon which has a free birthday drink, let's get one for you alright?
F: Hahaha, I'm fine with anything babe.
R: *Goes to the counter*
R: *Thinks* *I should get her a cake, makes it more meaningful*
R: Can I get the Chocolate Rasberry Diva Slice?
Counter G: Sure.
R: Erm, can you write 'Happy Birthday' on the plate too?
C.G: Oh, I am so sorry, but I can't do it, well, I don't really know how too. *Embarrass*
R: Oh.....
C.G: Perhaps you can try?
R: Hahahhaa, me??? Okay, I'll try...
R: *Wrote a melty HAPPY BIRTHDAY*
R: *Happy birthday to you, no candles for you*
C.G: Do you need a candle?
R: You have one? Oh that would be great, thank you!
C.G: No problem. :D
C.G: *lights the candle*
R: Thank you!
R: *Brings the cake and drinks over.*
R: Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you!
F: Oh My Goddddd! So many people looking!
R: Hahaha, Happy birthday babe!
F: Thank you.

Seeing her so happy makes me happy too.
No one shoule be crying on their birthday morning.

Happy Haloween!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

You've noticed that I don't publish my posts during weekends, well, cause my blog takes a break too on those days, but I think that it enjoys its life more than me since its job is more relaxing. Just 3 more weeks and then it's over. My body is tired, but not my head. I want to just go for a spa treatment, do my hair and nails. I think that is my most favourite pampaering luxuries, of course I have to go with my best friend, if I don't it wouldn't be worth it.

Currently, thinking of a cruise next year, but Dad says he wants to go on a holiday next year during March. I just want to go on a trip with Stacey to somewhere in Malaysia, and somewhere else with Fafa. Oh the joys of travelling. I am seriously considering taking up scuba-diving courses, but I am still somewhat afraid and cash broke.

Tiffany's are awesome!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Oh my GAWD! Just 6 more practice dates till the performance and I still can't dance properly! What the Fuck is wrong with me? I feel so crappy now, just came back from school like an hour and half ago. Had Phys. Ed then a break to bathe and slept in class till our teacher came to just do some measly questions. My whole brain fried already.

I brought bubble tea just now, when I was still in j8 and the idiot woman like gave everyone there her shit attitude, ie: she threw the ice into the blender so angrily, served the drinks witha black face as she 'throw' it onto the counter. Like so fuck right? I think she was kind of irritated cause she had this 'rash' on the palm, but like you don't need to give everyone thier attitude! I was staring at her, pissed off but whatever, I don't want my day to be ruin because of her.

My swim date is tomorrow, I need my bikini to tanned myself for the peformance, apparently the other girls in dance are very ANTI-SUN so I guess they'll be spray-tanned. I don't know how Pris is going to tell the Big Bush to shave, cause seriously, the thought of her armpit hair sticking to the LIGHT BLUE dress is uber gross and completely UNAPPEALING.


She is so gross, hair and all.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

To You.

Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

I know the rules and the instructions of it, but I am taking a gamble by waiting. I know what others think of me, and frankly I Don't Care. If they do not know me and still want to say things about me, let them. Why should you care what they say about me?

I can't deny that I don't miss being with you, your presence, your company. Your happiness is very important to me, but if I can't bring you that happiness then I fail my part to you. It hurts me to be so close to you, yet so far.

I know I will wait, but will you?

Perhaps we need to start from the beginning again, back to square one, we start re-building the foudation once again. It might not be now, but I hope that we can begin the process soon. .

To give and not expect anything in return.
To wait and hope for the best.
To love unconditionally.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Hairy Situation

Whoa, so tired, Xq just came over to my place to show me her friend's Lingerie/Bikini line. I am saving $50 for it! It's so cheap and it's really awesome! She also came to pass me my bag and blouse which I ordered like a month ago and I swear, I really can't wait to wear it! Hehe, new bag for school now.

School's not bad today, I wore pants for the 2nd time, with that 'formal' shirt [cause there's dance today and the pants which I wore is very comfortable for it] but it's very hot, my ass all sweat, okay, that's gross but I'm just exaggerating how bloody hot it was. Even now when I am typing this I am slowly burning.

Time really pass by so fast! It's like 21st of October now! How many more days to you-know-what. :D

In latin dance, Jo's sis, Pris, mention that we will be all chipping in cash for every monthly's dancers' birthdays. The China one, her birthday on the performance day itself, and she was like complaining:

K: Huh, on my birthday still must perform ah!!??
R: *Rolls eyes*

If you don't perform better lah! Don't see your hairy legs can already. Then there's the Mega-Bush, her bloody armpits so hairy like a broom, you know, the broom that the cleaners used to sweep under your void deck? Then like Sylvest was like telling us:

R: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Why ah? Cause when you do the Jive pose you
    can feel her armpit hair on your arm ah!?

Please, shave your armpits and your legs can or not? I know you like your hair but come on, latin dance is a sexy kind of dance and there is nothing sexy about BODY HAIR!
Even guys shave you know! Not all, but some, see, even their sense of hygiene is better then yours! If you like hair so much go cut from K lah! her hair so thick and so long like PTK, I am sure she can spare you some, then just use super glue go stick.

Poor Andrew, no hair, we sponsor him our extra hair, put as extensions. :D
He also never come today cause I think he was frightened off by Big Mouth aka, 3 Inch Bitch.
She keeps on scolding him in dance, poor thing, not that I care anyway. XD

I am going to shower, watch Tv and sleep and dream about the $5 bikini! :D

Courtesy of Beddiz

Eating ice cream without feeling the guilt might not be the best thing, but it is for me.
Lately, I think I am losing the essence of what makes me, Singaporean.
Like for example,

  1. How can I go into a McDonald's am actually NOT have the urge to eat.
  2. Why am I always craving Char Kuay Teow?
  3. I am not hungry when I wake up, during school, after school.
  4. Why am I still fat?
I really need to do something about my shit hair. Mainly, bye bye split ends, hello to a new colour and moisturizing stuff. i've been threatening to shave my head, that will happen soon. Not now of course, I think I know a few people who wloud kill me if I did that.

I really want to go on a holiday next year. I am so des-sa-pa-ra-tee.

Look, I even have this on my screen now.

Next year I'll go. :D

Monday, October 19, 2009

I am such a movie junkie. I've been watching my LDs, DVDs, VCDs. And if I am not watching them, I'll be online, YOUTUBE-ING movies, shot clips, cartoons and the works. I think my eyes are getting smaller cause I watch too much television. I will end up wearing thick glasses like my Aunt Dorothy.

I've been hauling my ass to Jo's dance studio for the past couple of days and I feel really happy that we, the Beautiful 4, FIQ & RACHEL, EZZATI & SYLVEST, have improved so much in our dance.

Sure it ain't top standard, but ever since the beginning of classes, the change is simply, miraculous. :D

What could be more happier to see your teacher's face swell with pride and joy seeing her students improving and raising the bar for the others?

Aza, Ezzati, Moi, and Sylvest [Fiq was MIA]

I am loving dance more and more. Jo said that next year, if we are really keen and prep'd, we can join, but I am so bloody scared shitless. I saw and tried on this GORGEOUS TOP in Jo's studio! It is so what I want for my birthday! Mummy! I want!

Ezzati, Fabu. Jo, Rachel

Isn't the top so awesome??!! I shall take a nicer picture of it then I can show it to you guys. :D

TOP: $90
SKIRT: $70
SHOES: $ 200+

I think I will die if I did that final pose, which reminds me, OUR final pose is somewhat like that, Wednesday I'll post it, hopefully, if the others don't let thier jaw drop. :)

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Saving All My Love For You

Saving All My Love For You Lyrics
Artist(Band):Whitney Houston

Verse 1

A few stolen moments is all that we share
You've got your family, and they need you there
Though I've tried to resist, being last on your list
But no other man's gonna do
So I'm saving all my love for you

Verse 2

It's not very easy, living all alone
My friends try and tell me, find a man of my own
But each time I try, I just break down and cry
Cause I'd rather be home feeling blue
So I'm saving all my love for you


You used to tell me we'd run away together
Love gives you the right to be free
You said be patient, just wait a little longer
But that's just an old fantasy

Verse 3

I've got to get ready, just a few minutes more
Gonna get that old feeling when you walk through that door
Cause tonight is the night, for feeling alright
We'll be making love the whole night through
So I'm saving all my love
Yes I'm saving all my love
Yes I'm saving all my love for you

Final Verse

No other woman, is gonna love you more
Cause tonight is the night, that I'm feeling alright
We'll be making love the whole night through
So I'm saving all my love
Yeah I'm saving all my lovin
Yes I'm saving all my love for you
For you, for you

One of my songs that I will be kind of practicing, is this. I feel such a strong connection with it. Perhaps, it might be related. I do not know. I try to to let my emotions and feelings get in the way of my posts. But trying to avoid thinking of the 'problem' makes me think even more.

I've been taking cough meds to sleep at night, I know it is bad for me, like taking drugs, but it's hard for me to sleep, either I will lie on my bed, curled up underneath my sheets, feeling the cold air blowing my toes, my eyes staring blankly, or I'd end up crying myself to sleep.

Is it fair? To let me go through this pain like that?
Others find it silly, some may also think it is ridiculous and that I am might be too giving.

But really, it is all about giving, giving and giving.
You can say, what if one day, I run out of love?

I know I will never. Because I am saving all my love for you.

Courtesy of ponto-quente

I really feel quite lost now, I know it's just waiting on my part, but deep down inside, I am so afraid. Dance, singing, anything to keep my mind off matters. I feel as though I have let you down if I can't make you happy. I feel so guilty, so upset. I thought that with me, you would find at least some sort of comfort, perhaps I was wrong.
I am so sorry.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Of course, this is by yours truly.
The photographer is highly recommended. [By Moi]

I really adore and love this picture so much.
Interpreting messages from each delicate detail.
 Now, I am just waiting.
I know, that when something you really want,
with all your heart and soul to arrive
it takes really long.
Why can't you see that I will wait?
1 year
5 years
10 years
Even more.
Just remember that I do love you so.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Has it been so many days already? Can't really be bothered to go online. Like seriously let's break down the hours I spent online.

1st hour: On desktop. Wait for connections to popped up.
             Check and filter crap emails.
2nd hour: FB-ing all the way~
               Online on msn as AWAY

3rd hour: Still online on msn. But gone from FB.

4th hour: Sian, still online on msn. Like f-ing stonededededed.

5th hour: I go sleep, or go for dinner or go bathe or go out.

See, 5 hours online, like waste time. Hehe.

I just recieved my time-table. Damn Steeewwwwpid! I'll take a pic let you people see.

Latin dance performance on 18th NOV!
Full dress rehearsal on 17th!

Why of all dates.

2 more days. :D

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Slowly, one by one, all my classmates are having their birthday.
I should rephrase it, all my younger classmates.

Soon it'll be this one's.
I really want time to pass faster now, because being at home bores me.
I really do not mind going out, but, going out tires me.

OHMYGAWD, I am going to be a big fat old couch potato hag, with a cat for company.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Courtesy Of Asuss06

I really love the concept of this tattoo
But not the hairy body part, kinda spoils it.
Days passing by slowly.
School is going to start soon, again.
I'd rather my NOV holidays instead.
I really can't wait for school to start.
Faster come, faster go.
I'd better start on my singing.
At least get some cash for nov and dec. :))


Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Tango as a distinctive dance and the corresponding musical style of tango music began in the working-class port neighborhoods of Buenos Aires, Argentina, and Montevideo, Uruguay. For this reason Tango is often referred to as the Music of the immigrants to Argentina.
-Extracted from Wikipedia 

The music itself is captivating.
Even if one does not understand the lyrics,
if your soul can reach into the music,
feeling not the rythmn, not the beat,
but the heart of the music,
where your soul and the musics' connect as one.
Treat the music like your lover.
Holding it close to your heart.
Making sweet love to it.
Letting your body embrace it.
Letting your body be embraced.
As the flow of the rough, smooth, subtle, loud music.
Fill your soul and your heart.
You know that you will be complete.
Your lover and you.

As One.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Shooting Stars

Courtesy of DeviousClown

Remember the time
When we were lying down at yoru place
Our faces towards the velvety blue sky
Our eyes reflecting the glittering diamonds in the sky.
While we were just talking
As usual
We sawe three beautiful shooting stars
Each one
As magnificent as the last
As each stars fell
We silently made our wishes
You told me once
That your quiet time place
Would be where we saw the stars
I still remember your suprised look
The joy and wonderment
Etched on your face
So sweet

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Courtesy of BabyBirdskt

I just came across this cute picture online.
Kinda reminds me of you.
Well, you're the surprised (happy) one,
I am the one behind you.
Been so tired lately.
Energy from mind and body drain.
I am losing my mind.